The Almost Daily Skrit


The later adventures of the bothersome man 2

Doug Wilton ≈ 29 June 2012

nothing much happened to the bothersome man
he sat in a cave for nine years
people came and went
his beard grew down to his knees and kept him warm at night
finally he hammered two knives together to create
a new invention that we could call scissors
but they pulled painfully when he tried to trim his beard
so he just went back to using a sharp knife

he used it also on his fingernails when they were long enough to
whack off without severing a finger
same with toenails
he wandered the trails and counted the flowers
there were a lot of yellow flowers this year
they kind of annoyed him
but he noticed that small green berries were starting to swell

he passed a dog that drooled in a loop of drool
that hung from the corners of his mouth under his chin
it was accompanied by one of the hairless monkeys
who lived here
he exchanged nods and smiles
but he kept his distance from these dangerous animals

one day he heard a loud tooting and ducked into the bush
a press gang was passing
they had guns and a short column of prisoners chained neck
to neck
young men they had dragged from the village
they would use them for slaves or cannon fodder
in one of the border wars

it almost made him wish he had stayed on the Ark
he wondered if they were still looking for him and his face fell for a moment
then he shrugged and smiled
they would never find him here



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